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DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married to a narcissist for 28 years. He has gaslighted me for our whole 30 years collectively. He has had a “work spouse” and a flirtation with the next-door neighbour hottie, and he paid for 2 horny women’ dinners (and pies to go) as a result of they occurred to be in line in entrance of us.
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After an argument, he even known as the police on me. (An whole shift of sheriff officers surrounded our home.) I’ve developed severely detrimental feelings towards him, particularly when he lies to me. We haven’t had intercourse in a yr. We get alongside pretty properly in day-to-day actions, though it bothers me that I’ve to be chauffeured all over the place I am going, together with him ready whereas I’ve my hair and nails completed.
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I’m 67 and really feel it’s too late to start out over. My psychologist can’t perceive why I don’t depart. We aren’t destitute, however we’re not rich both. I don’t know which method to flip. — HATING HIM IN MICHIGAN
DEAR HATING HIM: I discover it fascinating that as threatened as you are feeling about your husband’s work relationship together with his assistant, his flirtation with the hottie subsequent door and two strangers he tried to impress by paying for his or her takeout dinners (pies included!), HE is so insecure that he should drive you all over the place you go exterior the home.
Your Midday Sun
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While you assume it might be too late so that you can begin over, it’s essential to clearly outline what beginning over means to you. I can consider worse fates than freedom from an insecure, possessive, mendacity narcissist. You are underneath the care of a licensed psychotherapist. The logical “method to flip” could be within the path your therapist is making an attempt to information you.
DEAR ABBY: I’m involved a couple of pricey buddy who has a prognosis of delicate dementia. She has no household right here. Her closest relations are 4 hours away, and he or she has minimal contact with them. She was widowed 40 years in the past and hasn’t dated. She at all times stated she had little interest in that. She is deeply concerned in our group and has a large, various circle of buddies.
My concern is that whereas she has at all times been energetic in numerous occasions — the humanities, music, grownup ed lessons — she is now VERY curious about males. She has spoken to me about her want for a sexual relationship. She’s 82. I’m at a loss about what to inform her and anxious concerning the penalties if she does discover a man prepared and ready. I really feel strongly that her want is a persona change because of dementia. Any recommendation could be appreciated. — DIFFERENT NOW IN IOWA
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DEAR DIFFERENT: Your buddy is properly sufficient that she is energetic in your group. Talk additional along with your buddy about this.
She doesn’t have to fret a couple of being pregnant, however STDs amongst seniors have greater than doubled within the United States within the final decade. Syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia are all on the rise. Lack of information and low condom use are driving these statistics.
Seniors have a proper to a intercourse life if they need, however they need to be properly knowledgeable earlier than beginning one. Urge your buddy to talk together with her gynecologist earlier than beginning any intimate relationship.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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