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DEAR ABBY: I used to be with the identical man for 36 years, however I divorced him three years in the past due to his playing issues. We got here to this nation 27 years in the past, and ever since then I’ve been working and offering for us. He by no means paid any payments. He was very controlling and just about did no matter he happy. I assume I was so busy attempting to make a greater life for our son, I didn’t notice how dangerous it was. Â
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Our son is now 33. There isn’t any relationship between them. He refuses to speak to his father. We have been divorced however nonetheless dwelling collectively, and he was giving me solely $500 a month (he’s a truck driver). When I obtained breast most cancers two years in the past, he was so imply to me after my first chemo that I needed to inform him to depart. We weren’t in touch for virtually a yr till he noticed me at some point in a retailer (I had no hair and had gained 45 kilos). He regarded shocked and began crying. Since then, we are speaking, and he desires to return again. My son is in opposition to it. He thinks his dad simply desires a secure haven. We are from the identical hometown, and it’s onerous to not have folks gossip. I survived most cancers, however that is complicated, and I don’t know what to do. Deep down, I do know he won’t ever change, however … — STAY OR GO IN FLORIDA
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DEAR STAY OR GO: Your ex-husband deserted you whilst you have been in remedy for most cancers. Please, to your personal sake, LISTEN TO YOUR SON. He is giving you good recommendation. Rather than preoccupy your self with what folks out of your outdated hometown may say, reside within the right here and now. Remind your self why you divorced your husband. He was controlling, was an issue gambler, didn’t contribute financially and did no matter he happy with out regard to you. Cherish and nurture relationships which might be MUTUAL, and you’ll be a lot happier.
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DEAR ABBY: Do you might have recommendation for what to put on to a job interview when the interview is in an workplace, however the work is usually going to be outside? I’ve gotten a callback for a job associated to the analysis I did for my grasp’s diploma. It requires some bodily exercise in what may very well be harsh climate circumstances. This is one thing I’m ready for, however the interviewer may not anticipate that, as I’m a petite girl and don’t meet the stereotype for the sector. Should I present up in workplace garments or the issues I’d truly put on on the job? I wish to present that I do know what can be anticipated, however I additionally wish to be respectful. For what it’s value, I requested my mentor and couldn’t get a straight reply. — DRESSING FOR SUCCESS
DEAR DRESSING: If it have been me, I’d put on slacks and a shirt, ensuring they have been clear and pressed, and durable footwear. It would present you recognize what would work within the subject, however be tidy sufficient to make impression within the workplace. I don’t suppose workplace apparel can be acceptable for the interview, and this could be extra sensible.Â
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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